Honestly, I didn't. If I could go back, I'd beg you to stay by my side. To know you'd be miles away was breaking my heart, but I wanted you to be happy. I wanted you to make a good future for yourself, for us. Now that I think about it, how could I have let you go? What was I thinking then? Look what has happened. I know we've been through tough times. And because of that I think we have become stronger than we know.
We have lasted a good while together, too. I'm so incredibly sorry for everything that I did wrong. I wish you could just tell me, and I would change it all. You know, though, neither one of us were innocent when it came to hurting each other. When I said I would marry you, I meant it. I wanted to live my entire life loving you. We could have grown old together. I know you wanted that. What I didn't expect was being able to relate to so much. My son was severely handicapped and I was his primary care giver.
I could relate to some of Elaine's struggles. However, this pulled extra hard at my heart strings because of his recent passing. I felt this instant bond with the author and as I read her touching story it only enhanced her testimonies. I also think that it is amazing that she donates a portion of her proceeds to further research. So just think, when you purchase this touching tale by Elaine C. Pereira, you are contributing to a great cause! I also think this is a great read for anyone that has had to cope through having family members suffer through diseases like Alzheimer or Dementia, it can help them to relate and gain a better understanding.
I know as a full-time care giver, sometimes I felt so alone. But, reading I Will Never Forget helps you to know that you are not alone, there are a lot of people going through similar challenges and experiences. Feb 08, Emory Daniels rated it it was amazing. Dementia Victimizes Family Members As Well As Its Victims Author Elaine Pereira is entirely correct — there are some things we will never forget as special sets of circumstances will remain with us forever.
For Pereira, those memories etched in memory, relate to caring for her mother as she is ravaged by the effects of dementia. There are several Dementia Victimizes Family Members As Well As Its Victims Author Elaine Pereira is entirely correct — there are some things we will never forget as special sets of circumstances will remain with us forever. There are several humorous incidents shared in I Will Never Forget, but there are also many moving and poignant accounts of the painstaking role of being a caretaker for your mother who increasingly forgets who your area.
Those who have undertaken the role of caretaker for an aging loved one knows how emotional draining that experience is as well as being rewarding once in a while. But in the end, which always comes, there is no regret. In I Will Never Forget, Elaine Pereira gives a lot of very helpful advice based on lessons she learned while caring for her mother. And so the book becomes therapeutic, instructional, and informational as well as being a highly moving personal account of how dementia corrals victims like a rancher corrals horses.
Between then and now would be an opportune time to read I Will Never Forget. I recommend you do. Nov 06, Lorraine rated it it was amazing. Never before have I read a memoir, and I was impressed with the light manner in which this story was written. Infused with humour, the author makes the most out of a difficult situation, making her book enjoyable to read despite the heartbreaking tale she tells. The poem written by the author, found at the end of the book, warmed my heart. It was lovely! The style in which this book is written provides pieces of the puzzle that many sufferers of dementia face, and the reader can both commiserate with and find compassion for Elaine, the author, a feisty, spunky woman who truly did all she could for her wonderful mother while she was alive.
I would be, if I were her! I highly recommend this book.
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I Will Never Forget will touch you in ways you cannot imagine or fathom. You will definitely not regret reading it. Besides, shedding a few or more tears is always good for the soul. May 10, Savvy rated it really liked it Shelves: autobigraphical , aging-and-health , family. Elaine writes with loving compassion and gently pulls the reader into her world as she travels the derailed path of her mother's life coping with dementia.
It is a journey fraught with confusion, fear, and unexpected ordeals Her writing is clear and crisp. She draws the reader into her story and the pace is just right. It is easy to feel like you know the whole family quite well as Ms. Pereira opens new doors and explores and explains some o Elaine writes with loving compassion and gently pulls the reader into her world as she travels the derailed path of her mother's life coping with dementia. Pereira opens new doors and explores and explains some of the signs and symptoms of this mind robbing disease.
At one point she asks the doctor Tashka relied. She does have dementia, but I don't think she has Alzheimer's. The moments of mental clarity are wonderful gifts that break up the confusion and give the story an uplifting draft that keeps the book from becoming depressing or maudlin.
Inside her mother, there is still the warm, caring, and witty woman who nurtured her And she does a fabulous job in capturing what is happening with simple clarity and the tenderness of a loving daughter! Jan 04, Stephanie Wolf rated it it was amazing Shelves: relationship , biography , illness. Betty Ward was a strong woman.
During her lifetime, she buried her infant son, her husband and her other son. Now her time was coming. Her daughter, Elaine, wrote this story very well. It is very difficult watching someone you love have their memory erased slowly. Luckily for Elaine, she had the wonderful support of her husband and family. Some of her chapters start with Betty as a child, then the same type of situation, but later on in life.
Everyone loved Betty, and she had a great network of doctors and professionals who cared for her and wanted the best treatment for her. As someone who also had a family member with dementia, it can be very frustrating at times. You feel you are constantly repeating the same things over and over. You tend to ignore the early warning signs, even though others are giving you glimpses of what is happening when you are not around. You chalk things up to stress, aging and other factors of life.
Hopefully you will find some humor along the difficult path, and know that you are not alone, others have gone through this terrible disease of the mind. Reading this book felt like listening to the memories of your friend. In this intense memoir, the author, Elaine, shares with you about her deceased mother. Her matter-of-fact way of writing is the main advantage to the novel. You do not exaggerate to your friend, when you speak about the memories of your mother, right? This is a memoir from Elaine about her mother, Betty, who suffered with dementia.
Elaine's memories go back and forth, when she describes her kind and energetic mother. She bring Reading this book felt like listening to the memories of your friend. She brings out the memories where her independent and strong mother turned her daughter into a proper resourceful woman to the society.
The way how Betty handled Elaine, who checks her every Christmas present be treating the gift to various environment, is one best example. When Elaine takes the role of taking care of her mother, things were different. I am really surprised that Elaine can bring so much of her memories about her mother in such great detail. The writing is casual and friendly. I am not sure how many are capable of narrating this type of loss in a sweet, heartfelt, humorous I am really surprised and impressed way.
This memoir will be a tribute to her mother! Note: I am not going to rate such real-life novels, but I guess Amazon needs some rating. So, 4. This book is touching, honest, hilarious and tear-jerking all at the same time. As someone who has worked on an EMI unit for elderly patients with mental illness I have experienced a lot of what Elaine describes, what I've never experienced however, are the emotions that she goes through in sharing her mother's journey and oh my goodness she carries you along with her.
Elaine's writing style is beautiful without being over the top or condescending, she paints pictures with her words and you feel This book is touching, honest, hilarious and tear-jerking all at the same time. Elaine's writing style is beautiful without being over the top or condescending, she paints pictures with her words and you feel as though you are in the room with her.
The Day I Will Never Forget
By the end of this book I felt honoured to have shared in such a personal and such an emotional journey. I felt like I knew her and wanted to give her a great big hug and tell her how sorry I was for everything that had happened. If you have any experience of caring for someone with dementia you must read this book! It will change the way you see your patients and their relatives. This book made me laugh and it made me cry but more than anything it made me think and that is the sign of a powerful book.
View all 3 comments. Mar 24, Ruth rated it really liked it. This is a memoir of a woman whose mother suffered from dementia. Elaine honestly recalls her mother's downward spiral and the emotions that she experienced from her initial denial of exactly how bad her mother was to how this affected her and her family. This is a difficult situation to deal with and it was a blessing that Elaine's mother had the financial wherewithal to pay for a nice facility. I do wonder how those without money face the same situation. The book gives you an inside look at how This is a memoir of a woman whose mother suffered from dementia.
The book gives you an inside look at how dementia affects a person. It is written with honesty, humor, and love. Nov 29, Michelle Silvestri-Oetinger rated it really liked it Shelves: book-club-reads , non-fiction. I won this book in a Goodreads giveaway.
Elaine Periera's account of her mother's disease process is spot on! I could see everything her mother experienced in the life of our loved ones.
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Reading the book was like talking to a friend who understood and felt your pain. I recommend her book highly. Apr 07, Fran rated it it was amazing. Pereira How do you watch someone you love change from a vibrant woman to a shell of what she once was? How do you deal with a disease that knows no boundaries, has no limits on its course of destruction and what do you do to remember the person you loved as they once were? I Will Never Forget takes the reader into the life of author Elaine Pereira as she tells us about her mother, Elizabeth Ward, he struggle with dementia, her memories of her childhood and her final moments.
As you hear the voice of the author bringing into the present as the diagnosis is presented and the events are about to play out she takes readers back to where it all began to the day her mother was born, the friends she met, the life she lived and shares her childhood with us as we not only get to know Betty Ward but Elaine too. Take a candle and light it and watch the flame go out. It takes a while before all of the candle wax disappears. Watching my mom slowly decline and knowing that her brain was no longer able to process all the information she was did reminded me of a candle that lost its flame.
Elaine Pereira shares the story of her mom, Betty with readers by taking us back to her childhood, allowing readers to get to know her mom through the cute, humorous and special stories that she shares. I love the one about the turkey gravy and how her brother told on her mother that it was not chicken gravy. Elaine is a picky eater and her food choices often gave her mother much pause for thought. A summer vacation in New York really stands out with the author, spending time with her mom but especially buying that special dress that she tells us about in the chapter titled Shopping Sleuths.
Dealing with the diagnosis was not easy and when the head of the assisted living where her mom was living called to tell her that she might need more care or a more restricted environment Elaine became more than just concerned. Speaking with her own doctor she was able to get his point of view and speaking with her husband another perspective. The hardest thing to hear is that your mom or dad is rapidly declining and having psychotic episodes, which I know from my mom, are not uncommon.
Stating that her mom was beginning to act paranoid and turning hostile. Going on short vacation Elaine stated upon her return she would look into this even more. Reusing Aluminum foil, washing and flattening and refolding it would be something my Aunt Lily would have done. Money Laundering is not what you think you just have to read it for yourself. The checkbook incident brings to light just why her mother could not handle her own finances and Elaine needed to deal with them.
Announcing that she was going to stop driving was a good thing. She seemed to realize that something was wrong and that changes were happening but did not know why. Being independent, like my mom, this was a harsh realization and depending on others difficult. But, that was just the beginning and her mom had spunk and drive and you can probably guess the rest. She made sure, at least she thought she did that the insurance was paid but had no idea how many checks she wrote.
Chapter 13 is enlightening as Elaine learns more harsh realities. Imagine having to learn how to use a new word processor and then dealing with her hearing problems in way before her dementia really presented itself. In on May 12 Elaine received a call from one of the nurses at Friendship Village stating her mother claimed her processor was missing.
Elaine said she would order another one but was it really missing? How would she be able to hear if the entire device was missing? Caregivers often forget about their own care and devote themselves completely and wholeheartedly to caring for their parent, sibling or child with this illness. Undertaking this role requires time, energy, resources and determination to make sure that the person who can no longer care for themselves is safe, has proper supervision and care.
Remembering the person as they once were does not make the truth disappear but it reminds you that this person is still there, in your heart and that although their thought processes are hampered and slowly disappearing they are still really at least physically there. No matter what happened to my mom and no matter how little she remembered at times she always knew her name, who I was and much more than better gave her credit for.
I have to attribute that to the way her home health aides dealt with her needs and spoke to her as if she understood. The hardest decision was realizing that she had to move her mother to a more restricted environment and hoping to work with the new staff a challenge but one definitely worth the effort. Not wanting to face the inevitable you often have to when the reality of the situation sets in and the assessment of others is valid. March and April of would change things including her perspective of her mom.
Projects that she would have done easily would need more supervision. A simple painting project would turn into a nightmare and vacation plans were often interrupted. The caregiver in many cases as I know for a fact loses sleep, gets phone calls at all hours of the night and really needs a strong constitution and positive outlook on life.
The drape incident, the painting project and many more stories that Elaine shares will not only bring tears to your eyes but will help readers understand the gravity of this illness and why we need more research to find not only a cure but the real cause or causes of this horrific illness. Labeling things for her mother, relating the many incidents where her mom was both disoriented and confused the author allows readers to really understand and get inside the mind of someone with dementia.
The next step was moving her mom to a more restricted environment in The rest of the journey I am going to leave for the reader in order for you to take it along with Elaine, her husband Joe, their family, friends and of course Betty. Throughout until the day she passed in her health declined and Betty leaves us with a precious poem titled: I Will Never Forget.
Read it and hear her words. She died July 8, , which is the same day I lost my sister. Nov 18, Andreas Michaelides rated it it was amazing. I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review. What I will never forget by Elaine C. It is a handy book for people who have members of their family suffering from this illness. It will help them better understand the nature of the condition and also prepare them for what is going to happen in the future. The first chapters of the book is I received a complimentary copy of this book in exchange for an honest review.
I liked that approach it is brilliant, by showing how her mother was in the past, a vibrant and dynamic woman, teaching mathematics and also how she ended up after the dementia kick in the writer made I even clearer of how the disease works. I smiled when the author found the little bunny out in her yard and cried when her brother died of cancer.
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There were a plethora of emotions alternating all the time like life is anyway. I felt towards the end a small sense of quit by the author for not detecting that her mother had dementia earlier. Considering all the factors, where her mother was living the frequency of the visits and other aspects, in my opinion, she detected it rather quick.
I think the author managed, despite the fact that it was her mother, to write an objective book that in my opinion is a textbook on how to spot people that suffering from dementia. Overall a very informative book with humor and a range of other emotions and sensations that will keep you reading until you reach the end. First of all, I must take my hat off to Elaine C.
Pereira, she genuinely and wholeheartedly gives her all as she so urgently wants people to understand the journey of watching a loved one suffer with Alzheimer. This book is a must read for everyone because it can happen or is happening to us or someone we love. Elaine literally walks us through the journey of the impact it had on her and her mother's lives. You will actually feel as though you are a good friend or family member sharing the exper First of all, I must take my hat off to Elaine C.
You will actually feel as though you are a good friend or family member sharing the experience. I really appreciated the book because it lets you know past traumas could very well be the catalyst for Alzheimer which is something I did not know until I read "I Will Never Forget", it made much sense to me. In some ways a need to forget the past can actually happen. For sure this book was well written and promises to hold your interest from page to page.
Thanks, Elaine for writing this book Apr 04, Jeanette rated it it was amazing. This is a topic that interests me, as i was a full-time carer to my late mother from the onset of Dementia Alzheimer's to the day she passed away. This was an interesting book and i could relate to all what was written. Just like Betty, my mother had a wonderful life until the day we realised that things were not right. I wouldn't put my mother in a nursing home, but then again, I had good support from my sister who was a Social Worker and from my husband.
It is only when everything is hopeless, that hope begins to be a strength at all. Like all virtues, it is as unreasonable as it is indispensable. The events of 11 April and the continued remembrance of all those who passed will forever represent the lowest ebb of hopelessness in South African football. If only as a mark of respect for those who laid their lives on 11 April our wisdom begins.
Our desire to learn and make sure it never happens again is the greatest hope we can create for the living. Pirates beat Leopards. Bucs - 50 Not Out!